So...This Happened
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Somewhere along the way we decided to hide who we really are as a way to protect ourselves. I didn’t account for what i would miss out on if I lived my life in disappointment instead of feeling disappointed when situations didn’t meet expectations. So Fundamentally different! My #hicoselfcare journey is my effort to convince myself it is safe to come out, show my truest colors, and just live my best life! In a recent Youtube video I shared my experience with Social Anxiety and how I prevent it from holding me back. I laid out my strategy to tackle these mental setbacks head on. Watch that video here.
The latest chapter was to tackle my fear of having my photo taken, it is by far one of the most anxiety ridden experiences for me! I don’t have many photos of me growing up. Especially during my teens years, i avoided the camera just the same. I have albums full of photos with me covering my face. It became a game at family functions to catch me slipping and take a picture of me. I’ve been mentally unpacking this issue of mine for years and was going about it all wrong. Until i learned that...
“The future cannot free you of the past. Only the present can free you of the past”*
So once again i turned to my process, the one that gets me through 100% of the situations i thought i couldn’t handle. I had to push myself to just get familiar with the experience of getting my picture taken by simply doing it! I had to show some compassion for myself. I had to allow myself to take in the experience and let it be a precedent for the next time someone pulls out a camera to capture candid moments!
On the day of the shoot i avoided my thoughts! I Trusted that things would work out exactly as intended and didn’t set a standard for the day other than to take 1 non selfie full body picture. I entrusted the task to my blogger boo Staci aka CocoandClick. I am always impressed with her self portraits and i just needed to borrow a pinch of her magic. I asked and she agreed. When i got in front of her lens it started to happen again!
The anxiety started to kick in. I felt a total disconnect with my mind from my face and body. I started judging myself and there is no where to retreat when posing for a picture. Whenever i get lost in my thoughts worrying about all my insecurities the results are so unlike me or what i think i look like that i often feel like i catfished myself. I had to be present in the moment. I was transparent with Staci about how i was feeling. She knows first hand what its like and talks about it here. I laughed at myself outloud and just trusted her guidance fully. The results are these dope shots!
I feel so proud of the fact that i showed up for myself! I didn’t reschedule the shoot despite the anxious feelings.The experience reassured me that i am someone that can be counted on. In hindsight it was an amazing experience! I am also proud of the fact that i have successfully networked and collaborated with a fellow blogger! I touched on some of my issues with anxiety and meeting new people a recent YouTube video. So to meet and actually work with someone who understands my hangups first hand and gently guided me through each and every shot! I feel so much more enthusiastic about the next time we shoot together!
Now that we've gotten the heavy stuff out of the way. Lets talk about these shoes!!! #hiimcurrentlyobsessed with Sock Booties 😩 and this pair is perfect in so many ways!!! I gave you guys the deeds on these babies in my last Fall Style Haul video. If you missed it, watch it here
I am so into wearing fancy socks with...just about any pair of shoes! It takes me back to my adolescent days! Isn't it funny how the things we loved to wear as a kid can still be your go to? That stands true for the socks and definitely the skirt. Skater skirts aka " Lambada Skirt", as i used to call them named after this popular song in my country during the 80's. I wore them every chance i got and would twirl around the place, unapologetically! Thats the version of myself id like to continue to be!
